Quaero quero redemptio: Chapter Five.

Disclaimer: These toys aren’t mine. Sephiroth, Cloud and the others belong to Squaresoft, who can have them back in perfect condition when I’m done, honestly. The plot is mine though, and so is ‘Creci, although, considering that she’s a Chocobo, I can’t really use her for anything but fanfics…

/……/ Indicates flashbacks….

Sephiroth looked down at Cloud where he laid passed out on the floor and blinked. That wasn’t normal for anyone, and certainly not someone infused with Mako, so something was wrong. As far as he knew, humans didn’t just pass out like that, unless they were narcoleptic, but he remembered reading Cloud’s file back when he had been working for ShinRa and there had been nothing in there about narcolepsy. He looked back down at the younger man and smiled almost reluctantly. If he’d done that in the middle of a battle, everything might have been different, he thought, and bent down, reaching out to grasp Cloud’s wrist. His pulse was slow, but steady. It’s funny, he thought, placing the Masamune against the wall, how young he looks. He must be nearly my age by now. He smiled bitterly. I don’t even know how old I am, he thought.

He had nowhere to go, nowhere to be, so he simply moved the Ultima Weapon out of reach and sat down on the floor, with his legs crossed, watching Cloud. The blond looked peaceful, but he was as skinny as Sephiroth was and there were dark circles under his eyes. No wonder he passed out, Sephiroth thought, tilting his head. It must be days since he last ate something, and about as long since he got some rest. He kept his eyes on the other man, and came to a shocking revelation. I don’t hate him. He had been so sure he hated the man who’d stopped him, ruining his carefully made plans with ease, but when he watched the man laying passed out on the floor, he realized he didn’t. I never did, did I? He wondered.

Rising quickly to leave before he got more confused than he already was, he strode out, grabbing the Masamune on his way. ‘Creci was outside, lying comfortably under a roof that had been put up to keep the firewood piled underneath it dry. Sephiroth waited for her to come over, but she didn’t move. Finally, he went over to her, glaring. “Get up! We need to leave,” he said sharply. She ignored him totally. He was starting to get really annoyed by now, but he couldn’t very well force her to move. Growling, he turned and started to walk, away from her and away from that man. Suddenly, he found himself lying on his back in the mud, as ‘Creci finally had gotten up and bitten onto his coat and tugged. Sephiroth glared up at her, eyes flaring. “What’s wrong with you?” he hissed. As he got up, his boot fell of because it was now full of mud, and ‘Creci picked it up, running off with it.

“What’s gotten into that damn bird?” he asked himself, and turned to leave, boot or no boot, when he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the windows of the house. I look like I’ve been used as track for a chocobo race, he thought, and grimaced. Looking at the road back to Kalm, all muddy and wet, and at the rain, which showed no signs of stopping anytime soon, he made a decision and went back inside the house. I’m not going anywhere without my boot in this weather. When he came into the living room again, Cloud was still lying passed out on the floor, just barely breathing, or so it seemed. Sephiroth smiled, not really knowing why, and sat his sword away before picking the smaller man up.

He’s so light, he thought, attempting to locate the bedroom. When he finally found it, he placed Cloud on the bed, tugging the blanket over him. “Consider that payment, Strife. I’ll need to borrow your shower,” he said, walking slowly out of the room. The bathroom was one of the rooms he had found while hunting for the bedroom, and he easily found the way back. Through the window, he could see ‘Creci lying under the makeshift roof again, his boot now torn into an unidentifiable mess. “Damn bird,” he muttered and removed his clothing, realizing that it was all ruined and that he would need to get some new clothes.

The shower did a world of good as the hot water splashing down his skin loosened knots in his muscles that he hadn’t even known was there. Getting to wash his hair properly again made him feel much better as well, even though his hair didn’t seem to get greasy, he still loved having it clean. His hair was his one vanity, kept long simply for the reason that he liked the way it looked. It also seemed to add to the intimidation factor. Sephiroth scared people. He always had, ever since he was really young. It wasn’t as much his looks as his behavior that made him scary, the icy way he treated people was well known in ShinRa. There had been only two people he’d ever opened up to, and even that hadn’t been much. One of them had been Zack, who had forcibly dragged Sephiroth out of his shell, and the other one had been Sasayaki. A Wutaian SOLDIER who wanted nothing more than to be a scientist, and whom Hojo had killed when he’d outlived his usefulness. There is nothing left of my life anymore…

He stepped out of the shower, pulling a towel of the rack and started toweling his hair. It was a familiar task, and an easy one, leaving him free to think about other things. What am I supposed to do now? I’ve got nowhere to go, nobody to go to. You should have just left me in the Lifestream, Aeris. He considered his options carefully. I guess I’ll just move to Mideel or some other place where nobody will recognize me, and retire, he thought, tossing the towel into the laundry basket. He picked up the sweater he had been wearing earlier and sighed. It was covered in mud. The same was the rest of his clothes. Well, nearly all of his clothes were. His underwear was mercifully mud-free. Looking at the pile of ruined clothing, he grumbled to himself. I guess the pants can be saved, he thought, but the rest is beyond saving. He brushed the now drying mud of his pants, and, with the help of a wet washcloth, managed to get them clean enough to wear, even if they felt a little wet still when he pulled them on.

He spent a couple of minutes searching for a hairbrush, and grimaced when he saw his reflection. I look like a ten months old corpse, he thought, brushing through his hair with familiar movements. When he had finished with his hair, he looked out of the window. The rain was still pouring and it didn’t seem likely to stop anytime soon. A small, almost wicked smile crept onto his lips. “I’ll just have to intrude on Strife for a while, then…”

Intruding proved to be harder than he’d thought, however, as Strife’s kitchen turned out to be as barren as the desert around Gold Saucer, and Sephiroth was starting to get hungry. He went through all the shelves, drawers and cabinets in the kitchen and finally found a can of cauliflower soup in the back of one of those cabinets. It wasn’t gone stale yet, so he poured it into a casserole and let it heat. Cooking was actually one of Sephiroth’s few non-violent pastimes, and he usually enjoyed doing it, but it was hard to enjoy heating pre-made soup. Luckily, he found some spice to mix into the soup, giving it some flavor.

No wonder Strife isn’t eating. There’s nothing to eat here, he thought, sitting in the windowsill, watching the rain and waiting for the soup to heat. The water was pouring down from the sky, and he couldn’t see very far. When he was inside, watching the rain was kind of nice. It made him awfully glad that he was inside, but it also felt nice because he couldn’t remember the last time he had time enough on his hands to actually sit down and watch the rain. He’d always had such a hectic schedule that he’d almost never had time to do things he liked, and the little time he had had been spent reading, cooking and with Zack and Sasayaki. Now, he had all this time and no idea what to do with it. He leaned his head against the glass and watched it pour down, soaking everything outside. Slowly, he started humming an old melody he remembered from somewhere, genuinely relaxing for the first time in years.

-TBC

Author’s note: This was supposed to be longer, but Sephiroth wasn’t co-operating at all. Bad Seph! No supper for you tonight!

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